


Breadsticks and Perfect Tens

by brokendrums



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, OT5 - Friendship - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 02:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokendrums/pseuds/brokendrums
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry decides that they should do Come Dine With Me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breadsticks and Perfect Tens

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a lovely anon and the fact that lately all I've been doing is watching Come Dine With Me instead of doing anything productive.
> 
> EDIT: I never thought that some people wouldn't have seen Come Dine With Me before - it's a TV show where four/five strangers cook dinner each night of the week and the other guests rate them out of ten. There's normally loads of arguments, snooping around peoples wardrobes and getting very drunk. It's also a safe bet that at least one of them will cook scallops as a starter.

1

It was Harry's idea so they make him go first. The house smells of garlic and tomatoes when they slip through the front door and walk into Harry's new house. Harry appears in the hallway, eyebrows dipping into a frown. He has on one of those aprons that come down to your knees with a frilly trim and he has a wooden spoon in his hand.

“You're supposed to wait until I open the door Louis!” Harry rants as soon as the front door snaps shut behind them all. Niall shakes his head, slipping past Harry and receiving a slap to his arse for his trouble. 

Louis shrugs. “But we have a key,” he dangles it in front of him to emphasise his point. He grins at him, snapping at the strap around his neck. “Nice apron.”

“That's not the point,” Harry pouts ducking away from his prying fingers to reach out for Zayn’s coat. He juggles a bottle of wine and the wooden spoon as Louis piles on his coat as well. Liam’s brought him a potted plant that he somehow slots under his arm. “Thank you Liam. Come in, come in.”

“These are great,” Niall comments through a mouthful of halloumi when the four of them finally make it into the living room. He waves a chicken skewer about and there's a scallop in his other hand.

“Leave some for us yeah?” Zayn mutters peering at a plate of mini crab cakes Harry made this morning. Harry looks smug, walking over to the sideboard and uncorking a bottle of champagne. He makes a show of it and Louis snorts, sinking into the sofa beside Niall and reaching for one of the canapés. 

"Yeah better fill up before dinner, we all know it's going to be rubbish anyway," Louis taunts, biting into a salmon puff and sipping from his flute. Liam rolls his eyes and turns to Harry who slides into the seat opposite them all. 

"This music is very sophisticated Harry." Liam comments with a wry smile and it's only then that Louis realises there's a tinkling melody floating through the room. 

"Oh, that's Jasper." Harry smiles topping up Niall's glass already and casually shifting the half-empty plate of appetisers away from him and towards the other side of the coffee table. Niall hardly notices, gulping at the champagne and making a face. 

"Why are we drinking this shit?" He asks looking up from where he's fiddling with the Sky remote. "Where's the beer?" 

"I'll go grab one." Zayn rolls his eyes and gets up, disappearing through the kitchen door. 

"That's my job," Harry calls after him, jumping up from his seat. He's only made it half way across the living room when Zayn comes back through, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. 

“There is a guy,” He says very slowly. Louis looks up eagerly as if this will ruin Harry's night, “playing a harp in the hallway.”

Liam chokes on his Buck's Fizz and Niall laughs at him, banging his back while Harry shrugs. 

“Yeah, Jasper,” Harry nods moving through the door and grinning at Jasper who's tucked in a nook in the hallway, equal distance from the living room and dining room. “He plays harp in the London Youth Orchestra.” 

Liam nearly chokes again, jumping from his seat to peer round Zayn and out into the hallway.

“Oh my god,” he murmurs. “There's really a person out there.”

Niall snorts, flicking over to Sky Sports. “Is Harry doing some youth charity thing? Sponsor a musician?” 

Louis looks livid in his seat, ignoring Niall and going for the bottle of champagne. “Not fair,” he mutters gulping straight from the bottle. “I bet you that Harry didn't stick to the limit. There's a limit on the show you know." 

Zayn rolls his eyes and opens his mouth but his retort is cut short because Harry appears in the doorway looking a little flustered. He has his right arm hidden behind his back but an easy smile on his face. 

"Dinner is served," he says smiling sweetly, leading them out past Jasper and into the dining room. 

Louis has the seat beside Harry according to his name written in pretty blue calligraphy on thick card. Niall stares at his, confused, for a moment before reaching for a breadstick from the glass in the middle of the table. Liam slaps his hand. 

"You'll spoil your dinner," he hisses quietly and Niall pouts, snapping it in two and shoving one half of it in his mouth anyway. 

Zayn's at the opposite end, unfurling a linen napkin the size of the newspaper and draping it over his lap when Harry appears at the door again, arms laden with bowls of soup. 

"Home-made?" Louis asks immediately when he gets a waft of tomato as Harry sets the final bowl in front of him. Harry grins at him.

"Of course," he replies sweetly taking his seat at the end of the table beside him. He reaches for a spoon and Louis spots it, an angry looking welt across the edge of his hand. He grins at him, reaching out to catch his wrist. 

"Accident in the kitchen?" He asks and watches as Harry's face turns an odd shade of pink. He glares at him, wrenching his hand away from him and going for his spoon again. 

"Didn‘t hurt," He defends himself stubbornly, dipping his spoon in and sipping on the edge of it properly. Louis follows suit, aware that Harry’s watching for his reaction from the corner of his eye. He keeps his face as neutral as he can and he really wants to find something wrong with it - except he‘s pretty sure that it‘s the best bowl of soup he‘s ever tasted.

Harry waits patiently for his critique and Louis grits his teeth, dipping his spoon in again. “It’s lovely.” 

Harry grins, breaking apart a bread roll to dip in. 

“Home made,” he laughs before Louis even has the chance to ask him. 

 

2

 

Liam decides to keep his simple. He plans to fry some steaks when they all get there and he hand cuts his own chips in case Louis interrogates him like he had Harry last night. His sister sends him a recipe for a fancy dessert but he gives up sifting flour half way through and goes to the nearest Tesco to buy a chocolate fountain instead.

He nearly burns his starter because he's playing with the chocolate, answering the door with sticky fingers and marshmallow stuck in his teeth. 

"Going in reverse?" Zayn asks him with a cheeky smile when he spots the chocolate smeared across his chin. Harry is hovering behind him in the doorway, shaking rain out of his hair and proudly producing a bottle of something bubbly and very alcoholic. 

"Drink this and we can have some fun." He says brightly, hugging him tightly to make him all wet and shrugging off his coat. “It’s my shameless plan to skew the voting.” 

Louis tuts at him, dropping his coat into Liam’s arm and giving his hair a ruffle as he peers around the stairs. "Lovely house you've got here Liam,” he murmurs as if he hasn't been in the house a million times before, humming at the collection of photographs he has tacked to the note board beside the stairs.

"Thank you." Liam replies, playing along and grinning brightly at Zayn when he pulls a face. He piles the coats on to the end of the banister and pushes Harry through the door into the kitchen, the other two trailing behind them. 

Louis drops two bottles of wine onto the counter beside the chocolate and goes hunting around in a drawer for a corkscrew. He uncorks a bottle and waggles his eyebrows at Liam. 

“Get some glasses.” 

“You can’t tell me what to do in my own home,” Liam mutters, wiping the chocolate on his fingers on a cloth and getting glasses anyway. 

“Are you rigging the vote too?“ Zayn asks from where he‘s leant up against the counter picking through a bowl of Haribo and swirling them in chocolate. Louis giggles and pours them all a generous glass, clinking his glass off the rim of Liam’s and taking a large gulp. Liam takes a sip, wincing at the bitter taste but Louis just presses the tip of his finger to the bottom of the glass. 

“Bottoms up,“ he grins, trying his luck and giving Liam’s glass another nudge. Liam slaps his hand away, giggling when Louis pokes his tongue out at him and sipping the wine again. 

They do end up eating it backwards once Niall finally arrives twenty five minutes late. He looks flustered and pink from the cold. Liam’s giggly off the wine already and he drops Niall’s coat twice when he tries to hang it up. 

“What’s got into you?” Niall asks as he helps Liam hang it up properly and follows him into the kitchen. Liam opens his mouth to reply but Niall’s eyes are lighting up and he’s striding across the kitchen away from him. 

“Oooh chocolate fountain,” he gasps and actually claps his hands together, sending the rest of them into a fit of giggles. 

“Supposed to be dessert,” Liam tells him a bit too loudly and reaches a finger forward to run it below a wave of chocolate and licking it into his mouth. “S’good.” 

Niall grins at him, picking up a marshmallow and sticking it in too. Harry nudges him with his elbow and Niall obediently pops half his eaten marshmallow onto his tongue. He hums as he chews, nodding along until he gets bored and sticks a finger in too.

Louis smears a chocolatey handprint down Zayn’s cheek and he flinches away from him in outrage. “Louis you wanker!“

“Have some wine Niall.” Louis grins instead, dodging Zayn’s retaliatory chocolate attack. Niall hums in thanks, biting into a chocolate covered fizzy cola bottle and getting chocolate all down his shirt. 

“Best dinner ever,” Niall announces after he takes a gulp of his wine, teeth and grin rimmed with chocolate. 

“This is dessert,” Liam reminds them with a pout and waves a hand over at the cooker where his chips are most definitely burning. “There’s actual food y’know, I made scallops! They always have scallops to start!”

Niall watches him wide eyed with an expression that says he has no idea what Liam’s on about. 

“We can get that later,“ he mutters, licking the chocolate from his thumb while Louis reaches across them all to pat Liam’s head. 

“Have some more wine Liam.”

 

3

 

“I hate you all.” 

Liam’s curled in a ball on the sofa, his head cradled in his arm and he looks a little green. Louis grins at him gleefully from across the room. 

“Sorry,” Harry at least looks apologetic and he gathers up all of Liam’s things so he doesn’t have to do it himself. Liam doesn’t open his eyes, just pouts harder to make Louis giggle again. 

“Why are you lot not more hungover?” He asks for the tenth time. Zayn sighs and rubs at his head sympathetically.

“Because none of us drank two bottle of wine to ourselves,” he tells him gently, moving his hand down to squeeze at his neck. Liam huffs, curling in on himself again.

“Why did none of you stop me?” he murmurs into his wrist and his frown deepens. “Your dinner better be brilliant tonight.” 

“It will,” Zayn reassures him and flashes a smug grin across the room at the other three. 

“What are you making?” Louis asks curiously because they’ve been working all day and it’s already late in the afternoon. 

Zayn just grins at him, tapping his nose and going back to scratching at Liam’s scalp. He whimpers for a moment and cracks open an eyelid. 

“What’s for dessert?” he asks quietly, eyes narrowing because it’s bright. Zayn laughs but ignores his question. 

“Liam can you bring your chocolate fountain?” Niall asks pulling on his coat. “That was great.” 

Liam looks smug for a moment before he rolls back over into his nest of arms and closes his eyes again.

“No.” Zayn shakes his head. “I’ve dessert all planned out.” 

"How are you going to get it all done?" Harry asks striding across the room and easing Liam out into a sitting position. 

“I‘m hungover not an invalid,” Liam murmurs but lets Harry and Zayn manhandle him out the door anyway. 

“It took ages to get everything ready on Monday,” Harry says ignoring Liam’s protests and urging him down the corridor. 

"Never fear Haz," he smiles at him. "There will be food on the table. I promise." 

Harry's eyes narrow but he nods, climbing into his own car as Zayn and Niall slink off to the other. 

Niall's already there when Harry arrives at seven thirty on the dot. He's sprawled out in the middle of the sofa, flicking through the TV, cradling a bottle of beer in his hand and balancing a bowl of crisps on his chest. 

"Hey." He mutters and blinks sleepily up at him. Harry smiles and has the faint suspicion that he never went home in the first place. He thinks about calling Zayn out on cheating, getting Niall's help but when he rethinks it - he doesn't know how much help Niall would actually be anyway. 

“I’ll get you a drink.“ Zayn smiles at him and disappears into the kitchen. He gets a waft of something sweet and spicy and his stomach actually rumbles because it smells so good. He drops into the space beside Niall, cuddling in close and accepting the bottle from Zayn before he disappears back into the kitchen. 

“Do you know what he’s making?” Harry asks Niall quietly, stealing a crisp off his chest. Niall shakes his head, trying to slap his hand away without toppling the whole bowl but Harry manages to get a handful anyway. 

“He won’t let me in the kitchen,” Niall answers hardly taking his eyes off the TV. “Too many cooks or something.”

Harry snorts just as the doorbell rings three times in a row and Zayn runs out get it with a groan. 

“Evening,” Louis grins at them when he appears in the doorway. Liam hovering behind him. “How’s everyone’s day been?” 

Niall shakes his head, draining his bottle dry and lining it up on the coffee table with the others. 

“We seen you two hours ago,” he mutters sinking back into the cushions. Louis shrugs, dropping his coat and sliding onto the sofa beside them. 

“Oi,” he calls over his shoulder to Zayn. “Does this mean we get to raid your cupboards? See what kinky shit you get up to?” 

Zayn barks out a laugh from the kitchen and there’s a bit of clattering about. 

“Do you need any help?” Liam asks and gets up to go to the door. 

“He won’t let you in,” Niall warns, uncapping the lid of another beer and settling back down beside Harry. Liam quirks an eyebrow and heads towards the kitchen door but Zayn appears in it with a smile, closing it tightly behind him. 

“No need,” he promises and ushers them into the dining room. “Everything’s under control.” 

“Wow.” Niall states once he’s made it the length of the dining room. The whole table is laden with food. Zayn grins at him and pushes him into one of the chairs next to them. 

“Help yourself, I thought I’d skip starter and just throw a bit of a banquet,” Zayn says picking up a plate and handing it to a gob smacked Louis. 

“How the fuck did you get this done in time?” He asks, reaching for a spoon and delving into a bowl of something that he has no idea what the name of is but smells delicious.

“Skills,” is all Zayn says, dropping into a seat next to Niall and helping himself. 

“Oh my god,” Harry actually moans as he chews on half a samosa. Zayn grins at him smugly and reaches for own. 

 

4

 

“That’s a pathetic attempt at a costume.” Louis tells him when he opens the door. 

Harry’s ten minutes late and hastily shoving on a pair of cat ears when he walks in the door. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees Louis - completely covered in black and white body paint. 

“What?” Harry gasps a laugh and clutches at his shoulder so he doesn‘t fall over. “Are you being a _cow_?”

Louis doesn’t look amused, shifting away from him and leading him into the living room. Zayn’s already there, in a shirt and leather jacket and nothing to say he’s complied with the theme either. 

“The invite clearly said that the theme was Old McDonald.” Louis sniffs and Harry has a feeling that Zayn’s already been on the receiving end of this lecture already. “You two are so boring. I want to change my vote and take points off you for not following the rules. A _cat_ is not a farm animal!” 

Harry laughs louder, thrusting the potted plant from Monday into his arms. “Here have a plant to chew on.” 

Louis glares at him, sliding the pot onto the coffee table while Liam makes a noise of outrage from the doorway. He’s got a hat on and a plaid shirt so Harry assumes he’s being Old McDonald himself. 

“Are you _re-gifting_?” He asks, jaw dropping in indignation. Harry has the decency to look ashamed. 

“I didn’t have time to get to an off license,” he shrugs. “You know that Louis will take better care of it anyway.” 

“If he doesn’t eat it first,” Zayn grins up at him and Louis’ glare darkens. 

“I hope you choke on your dinner,” he mutters, stalking out of the room to answer the door to Niall. 

“That’s not very nice,” Zayn calls after him. “You’re definitely not getting a ten now!” 

“Oh for God’s sake Niall!” Louis shouts from the door and the rest of them hear Niall’s cackle from the living room. “Did no one decide to humour me and dress up? Why are you all so boring?”

“Why is he dressed as a cow?” Niall forces out between bouts of laughter when they make it as far as the living room. “Look at the state of him!” 

“There was an invite,” Louis says through clenched teeth, forcing a beer into his hand. “that said clearly there was a theme.” 

“I never _herd_ ,” Niall laughs louder, slapping Louis on the shoulder, palm coming back streaked with black. “Mooooove over would you?” He asks when he tries to squeeze past him. 

Louis rolls his eyes, stepping to the side and allowing Niall to drop onto the sofa beside Liam.

“I hope we aren’t having beef,” Zayn comments with a sly grin. “Isn’t that like cannibalism for you Lou?” 

“Oh pull the udder one -” Harry pipes up, dissolving into laughter before he can finish the rest of his sentence. 

Louis’ glares at him a final time and storms into the kitchen muttering under his breath. “Dinner’s ready you dickheads.” 

Harry laughs loudly, scrambling off the sofa and following him into the table. He lifts a bread roll before he’s even sat down and looks up at Louis across the kitchen. 

“Pass the butter Lou?” Harry asks sweetly setting Niall off again as he giggles into napkin. “Or do you have to make it first?” 

“Can we move on please?” Louis bites out, glaring at them. Zayn snorts. 

“You mean mooooove on right?” Liam joins in with a grin and Louis pouts again, setting down their starters with more force than necessary.

“Sorry,” Niall gasps, tears forming at the corner of his eye. “We’re just milking it for all it’s worth.”

Louis can’t hold his anger at that one so he allows his lips to turn up into a grin as he sits down at the head of the table. 

“Ok,” he sighs. “That was a good one.” 

Niall grins at him, picking up his fork and digging into his food. “What’s with everyone’s obsession with scallops these days?” 

Louis snorts and swallows. 

“It’s the only starter we’re allowed,” he says solemnly and takes a sip of wine. “Mine are better than Liam’s anyway.”

“I was half pissed when I finally got round to making them,” Liam defends and Niall shrugs. 

“I thought there would definitely be some last night,” Niall comments nodding over at Zayn and popping a scallop whole into his mouth. “Caterers love that sort of shit don’t they?” 

"Niall," Zayn hisses across the table, aiming a kick at him but catching Harry's foot instead. 

"Ow," he mutters, frowning between them. "What caterers?" 

"The ones from last night," Niall answers easily once he's finally swallowed his mouthful. Zayn glares at him across the table and Louis' cutlery clatters as it hits his plate. Harry's jaw is dropping and he's swivelling in his chair to stare between Niall and Zayn. 

Zayn groans, dropping his fork and rubbing the bridge of his nose. Niall looks unperturbed in front of him, reaching for a bread roll and smearing it with butter. 

"Sorry," he sighs and looks up with a sheepish grin at the rest of them. Harry just stares at him in shock.

“I gave you a ten!” he exclaims and finally drops his fork. His knife is still in his fist and it would look threatening if it was anyone else in the world apart from Harry holding it. 

“So did I,” Liam comments. Harry pushes his plate away from him like he still can’t believe it. 

“A _ten_ Zayn,” he mutters darkly, shaking his head at his plate. 

“I knew you couldn’t get all that done on your own with that little time.” Louis complains, he sounds as equally annoyed as he does proud he called it. “I shouldn’t have gave you that nine.” 

“Wait,” Liam perks up and swivels round to look at Louis. “Doesn’t everyone give everyone tens?” 

Louis snorts and Zayn looks round at him with a laugh. 

“What’s the point in that then?” Zayn asks, “there’s no competition.” 

“No competition if you cheat,” Harry mutters loud enough for Zayn to hear. “Cheaters never win. Getting help is cheating.” 

“Harry.” Zayn laughs but Harry’s shaking his head again. 

“No but everybody made a really good effort,” Liam insists. “We should all get ten for effort.” 

“Liam, it’s a competition,” Louis spells out. He reaches across the table and pats Liam’s hand, leaving a dark patch of paint in his wake. “We have to score each other.” 

Liam looks a bit put out and sits back in his chair avoiding all eye contact with Louis, “still think we should all get ten.” 

“Well, Zayn definitely shouldn’t,” Harry pouts. “I want to retract my ten.”

“You can’t retract your ten.” Zayn laughs. “You already gave it to me, it‘s like a gift.”

“Harry re-gifts!” Liam announces and Harry rolls his eyes. 

“Yes I did Liam, get over it,” he snipes. “Zayn, I‘m re-gifting your ten to -” he pauses and looks around the room. “Niall, I‘m giving it to Niall.” 

“He hasn‘t even done his night yet!” Louis snaps in outrage as Niall looks up in confusion. “You‘re at my dinner table and you can‘t give me a ten now?” 

“You’re making your crappy stuffed chicken,” Harry rolls his eyes, pointing his knife at Louis now. “That I’ve had ten million times. _And_ you made me dress up. That deserves an eight at best.”

Louis gasps, jaw dropping. “Cat ears is _not_ dressing up.” 

“Well I’m not giving you a ten anyway.” Liam butts in stubbornly, piercing the last scallop on his plate and cutting it in half aggressively. 

“What?” Louis asks outraged, pointing his fork from Liam to Harry and then to Zayn. “How is that fair? They all get one and I don’t?” 

Liam shrugs, stuffing his fork into his mouth so he doesn’t have to speak. Louis gapes at him for a moment before turning to Zayn, “ruined it for all of us Malik.” 

Zayn rolls his eyes, sitting back and pushing his plate away and mumbles very quietly, “whatever.” 

“Guys, guys,” Niall grins at the all. “Why are we all fighting here what’s the problem? Why are you all in a moooooooood?”

Louis’ nostrils flare and none of them laugh. 

“Ok, ok.” Niall nods and picks apart his bread roll again. “Too soon, I get it.” 

 

5

 

Somehow they all end up outside Niall's door at the exact same time. Harry's still huffing with Zayn and Louis won't let Liam's scoring lie so they stand in tense silence outside the door waiting on Niall to answer. 

"Jesus," Louis mutters, stepping forward and pressing his thumb against the bell. He can hear it drone on and on from outside the door. Zayn huffs out a sigh, leaning against the gate and checking his phone. 

“It's nearly eight o’clock,” he comments, flicking through his messages and sighing. Harry tuts, just annoyed that he's even speaking so Zayn kicks his shin for it. 

“Oi!” Harry squawks and quickly pulls Zayn into a headlock. 

“Harry!” Zayn shrieks back and tries to pry Harry's arm away from his neck. 

“No!” He snaps and pulls him tighter, bending him at the waist and making Zayn drop to one of his knees. Louis shouts encouragement at Harry and Liam looks on, torn between stepping in and egging them on. 

Zayn has Harry pinned to the path, his head lying in the flowerbeds Niall's mum put in at the start of the summer when the gate swings open and Niall stands looking at them all. He has a box of beer under one arm and a bag that looks suspiciously from the Chinese down the road under the other. 

“Alright lads?” He asks, stepping over Harry's flailing legs to get to his door. He gives Liam a small smile, handing him the bag to hold as he wiggles in the key. 

“And where have you been?” Louis demands, following him into his house as soon as the door is open. “You know that you can’t give us take away just because Zayn flaked out and got caterers in.”

Zayn tuts and follows him into the kitchen, “Never going to let this go are you?” 

“Did you give me a ten to apologize?” he asks, half sarcastically and half in hope. Zayn shakes his head and Louis goes back to glaring at him. 

“What are you talking about?” Niall asks. They’ve reached the kitchen and the rest of them are trailing in behind him.

“For your night,” Liam fills him in and slides onto one of the stools in the middle of his kitchen. 

“My night?” Niall asks with a confused chuckle. He tips some rice onto a plate and starts to open the container next to it. 

“Niall.” Is all Harry says, mouth opening in a slow realisation that Niall has lost his mind. 

“You’re joking right?” Louis asks him curiously watching him as he tips all the food onto his plate. “What have you done for your Come Dine night?”

Niall frowns at him and then breaks out into a laugh. “Is that what we were doing all week?” 

There’s silence for a moment, Louis looks over to Liam to see him hide his grin behind his palm. Harry looks shocked that Niall _actually_ didn’t realise they had been doing this all week. 

“What did you think we were doing?” Harry asks him with an amused giggle. Niall picks up his plate, sticking a bottle of beer under his arm and hoaking through a drawer until he comes up with a take-away menu to slide across the counter towards them. 

“Just thought we were having a few posh dinners,” he shrugs and tips his head towards the menu. “The lemon chicken is really good.” 

 

+1

 

A few months later they get asked by Channel 4 to do it properly and at first they’re all wary. 

“It didn’t really work well last time did it?” Zayn asks carefully as they all think it over. 

“Speak for yourself,” Louis sniffs and looks down at his nails. Zayn grins across the table at him, kicking at his ankle to make him look up. Zayn had them all round the next week for dinner that made himself and Louis had admitted that it was just as good and he deserved to get his ten back. 

They agree to do it anyway, volunteering Liam to be their representative. They all come round to help though, Liam spends all day melting chocolate while Louis taste tests all the wines until he’s giggling into Zayn’s neck and giving everyone sloppy over friendly kisses on the jaw while the cameras aren‘t looking. Niall nearly breaks all of Liam’s plates when he’s unloading the dishwasher so Harry allows him to stir the soup every so often as long as he doesn’t touch _anything_ else in the kitchen while he entertains the cameras with a tour of Liam’s house. 

“It’s my house Harry,” Liam tells him as Harry’s make up is touched up and the camera zooms in on Niall proudly stirring the pot in a counter clockwise direction. 

“Yeah but this will be more fun,” Harry shrugs. Louis agrees, bouncing slightly on his feet beside him and only stumbling once. The matching mischievous grins on their faces don’t do anything to soothe his mind and he definitely doesn’t feel better when the camera comes back to Harry.

“I’ll show you where Liam keeps all his whips and toys,” he says brightly to camera and Louis erupts into giggles beside him. “You might be even lucky to meet Liam’s play thing, he's normally chained up in the dungeon, let’s go, it's this way!” 

He grins over his shoulder at Liam before dragging Louis and half the camera crew out of the kitchen with them and Liam’s left to help Zayn somehow salvage the soup that Niall’s managed to mess up in the ten minutes he’s been stirring it.


End file.
